Dear Candy Crush Cheats,
I’m trying to write this letter as fast as I can so I can get back to my game. Yes, I have to fit something as important as spilling my guts out in between games. I guess that just tells you how far down the rabbit hole (or should I say candy jar?) I am. But I kept reading about the statistics – the millions all over the world that have been crushing candies daily – and something inside me just clicked. I don’t think I can hold on to this deep, dark (chocolate) secret any longer: I am a Candy Crush addict.
Just getting that off my chest feels like the rush of two Coconut Wheels coming together and zapping everything off the board. It feels that good. But more than feeling good, I wanted to share this confession to fellow Candy Crush players who haven’t fallen off the deep end yet (or might already have but remain clueless), to recognize the signs of Candy Crush addiction.
I’ll do it after this level.
How many times have you heard yourself say this? I bet plenty. And most probably this is (or a variation) how it happens. You’re playing Candy Crush. Your mom calls you for dinner. You say, “I’m just going to finish this level.” Your mom leaves you alone. And two hours later, she comes back and you’re still playing. You also have no idea where in the world those two hours went, because as far as you’re concerned you’re still on Level 89. Soon you’ll be saying this about everything.
Fireman: Sir the building is burning we have to get out now.
You: Okay, okay. Let me just get this last jelly.
Best Man: Your wedding is in five minutes, man. We have to go.
You: Time crunch here on this level too, man. I need 120,000 points. I’ll do it after this level.
There was a time when you said, “I can wait for lives. I don’t need tickets. No need to connect to my game to Facebook. No Candy Crush cheats for me.” But now, you’re messaging, tweeting, texting, and maybe even calling away to ask your friends if they’ve received your request for tickets. It doesn’t matter if it’s the dead of night, you’re going to get that ticket and you’re going to clear this level, no matter what. So what if it’s someone you haven’t even talked to since Junior High? You need those lives. Adding people you barely know so you can ask lives for Candy Crush from them? Completely justified. Sending requests to an ex? The least he can do after all he’s put you through.
Pre-ordering the Candy Crush Socks.
Candy Crush Saga releases their first official merchandise? You’re already typing your pre-order for those socks. It doesn’t matter that those socks have no connection to the brand, you just have to have it. It’s like your little lucky charm. You tell yourself, “If I have this on, I’m going to clear all the chocolates.”
Everything is an excuse to play.
Waking up? Time to play Candy Crush. Enough said.
Sincerely and Crushingly,
Secret Candy Crush Addict